Stand Firm In Your Parenting

As a first time mom, I find myself biting my tongue a lot in the presence of older family members, or older people in general. Of course, everyone always has some sort of parenting advice to offer, and although I welcome the wisdom with open arms, sometimes in the back of my head, I know I’m right. Too many times I’ve been too afraid to simply say “no” because I don’t want to come off as disrespectful, or ungrateful for the “helpful” advice that is being offered.

About a month ago, I had a few family members come to visit. They were just passing through town, so Blake and I met them for lunch. We sat down, began to catch up and ordered food. I ordered spinach dip with a side of tortilla chips for myself, and a kids mac n’ cheese for Blake. My spinach dip arrived at the table first, and everyone began to snack on the chips. I watched one of my family members pass a chip to Blake. I didn’t even want him to have a chip, but I took it from him and broke off a very small piece of it for him to try. A second later, this family member passes Blake another full sized chip and he shoves the whole thing in his mouth. I said, “those chips are a bit too big for him. He only has 4 teeth.” Before I knew it, his eyes began to bulge, no sound coming from his mouth. He was choking. I jumped up, yanked him out of the high chair, tilted him downward, and began to give blows to his back.

This was the scariest 10 seconds of my life. I haven’t taken a CPR class in at least 4 or 5 years, so I’m pretty sure that I was not helping him correctly. I can’t tell you how many times I thanked God for keeping Blake in that moment. Truth is, I should have never let him keep that chip in his mouth, and I should’ve been more direct and clear with my family member about not wanting Blake to eat chips because of the possible risk of choking. Each day in parenting, there is a lesson to be learned. I was not quite ready to learn this one. From that point on, I decided that I would always go with my first mind no matter how it comes off to those above me. Blake is my son, so I have that right to always be his protector, regardless of the feelings of my family members.

If I had to offer any advice to a new mom, it would be to stand firm in your parenting. You know what’s best for your child. Trust your intuition. It was given to you for a reason.